Happy big-ass birthday to me. Here’s the alligator I celebrated with. Please, no interviews. He’s a very private crocodilian.
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From the category archives:
Travel
Seven months in Florida have been full of twists, turns, and false starts, but it looks like I’ve found a place to settle in (see: “settle in” above). How do I know? Signs. Signs! The first giveaway that Jacksonville would fit: Dance Trance is within walking distance of my house. Duh. If I drove 10 [...]
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Yes, I drove right by it on the way from Richmond to Miami. No, I never considered living there. I mean, if I’m going to live in the dumbest state around it better be in its hottest city, am I right? And what’s sexier than a proper Miami address? Well, as we’ve seen with The Weiner, when you [...]
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Starbucks. Melbourne, Florida. BAD: I sit on the patio to read and blog and an idiot human sits right across from me (instead of the other 14 available seats), puts his dirty boots up on the table between us, and chain smokes into my face for 30 minutes. GOOD: I met Espresso, their mascot, who [...]
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Well, Florida. You’re warm and toasty. You give good beach. I like your produce very much. And your people are pretty nice. But your work ethic is on par with a juvenile delinquent’s. You’re unfocused and unprofessional, distracted by all of the hurricanes perhaps—and you’re really starting to piss me off! I came to you [...]
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