Sup, baby.
Yeah, I saw you peekin’.
Mama’s just gettin’ a little beauty rest, soakin’ up some vitamin D and givin’ these long, sexy gams a little time off. What’s that? You wanna take me to the dog park? Let’s not rush things, butter bean. Let’s get to know each other first. Now, how about fetchin’ Sher-Sher some goodies? Maybe a lil peanut butter biscuit…..or some vegan beef jerky. You know how I like it, bite-sized and delivered right to my bed. That’s right….come on down here. Gimme a nice long tummy rub. Maybe you can count my spots and tease me about being part dalmatian. Now, look into my sweet ginger eyes and tell me how much you want me. Tell me about all those tasty treats you’ll hand feed me…those long walks we’ll take together as the sun comes up…those car rides with the top down…and those fancy, diamond-studded collars you’ll buy me so I’ll never, ever get lost.
You got all that, my two-legged friend?
Good, now go fill out an application so we can be together forever.
That’s right, every last question. And print clearly.
(Of course there’s a fee. What kind of girl do you think I am?)
